I Was Broken
by k-kizkhalifa
Summary: Draco Malfoy calls for help, during one of the darkest times in his life but a man like him can't hang on to happiness for too long. It always gets taken away. [Non-Magic/Modern AU.]


**A/n** : Hey Party People! Uploading two stories today, the weekend kinda got away from me and I lost track of the day. BUT OH WELL. Enjoy~

 **Warnings** : Grief, mentions of death and coping,

 **Brief** : Modern/Non-Magic AU where Draco calls a grief hotline after Astoria dies and ends up talking with someone he _knows_.

I don't own or having relation to this world.

* * *

 ** _"Hello?"_**

Draco felt the warmth wash over him from the voice, a voice that sounded safe and secure. A voice that held him together even as he wanted to fall apart. Even as he was. Why else would he be on the phone with a grief hotline?

 _"Hello? Can you hear me?"_

Draco waited a moment longer, letting the voice grab at him then he let out a quiet breath and found himself unable to talk.  
 _  
_ _"I can hear you, you don't have to talk."_ Draco cried, he knew it was loud. It sounded broken but the words were failing him, "hey, there is no reason to try and talk." They continued, _"I do have to ask, are you in immediate danger right now?"_

"No."  
 _  
"Good, are you in a safe place? A place safe for us to have a conversation I mean?"_

"Yes."

 _"Good, good. You can talk whenever you want sir, there is absolutely no hurry."_

The line was quiet as Draco grabbed at his blanket in the dark of his room and he stayed still sobbing into the blanket.

"I shouldn't have called," he finally said and he wasn't sure how long it had gone on but immediately the person was back.  
 _  
"You don't have to stay on the line if you don't want to sir, we're always here."_

"I feel weak." There was no response, and Draco wondered if that was because he didn't have a script for that or maybe because he agreed, "I should be strong, I knew she was sick."

 _"Do you want to talk about that?"_

"No."

 _"Would you like to talk about anything?"_

"I don't know."

 _"Would you like to tell me your name?"  
_  
"No."

 _"Okay,"_ there was a quietness that always sounded after his voice and Draco clung to it.

"Are you busy?"

 _"You have my complete and undivided attention, sir."_

Draco wiped the tears away, even as fresh ones followed, his voice coming out gurgled and lost in his throat, "why can't I hear anything on the other end?"  
 _  
_ _"We have very good mics sir, to keep the outside noise down."_ And once again the quiet filled his receiver, _"would you rather I talk, or do you want the quiet?"_

"How long do you do this? Pretend you are interested in this conversation?" Draco asked, his tears were subsiding the more he talked about nothing in particular.

 _"I am interested in this conversation, I am interested in you."_ The voice responded, _"is there anything I can do to help you sir?"_

"No, you can't bring her back." As he said it he expected new tears to fall but they didn't, it had finally stopped, "she was sick, I knew this but I fell in love with her anyway."

 _"I'm sorry."_

"It just happened..."

 _"What just happened?"_

Draco let out a quiet laugh, it sounded dry and made his throat sore, "her dying, we've only just buried her last week."

 _"Oh,"_ he answered, _"would you like to tell me about her?"_

"She was my wife." He looked down at his left ring finger as he said it, "I... the sheets still smell like her." He whispered, "she's supposed to be here, but she's not."

 _"I'm sorry, sir, so very sorry for your loss."_

Draco laid quiet on the bed, clutching the blanket, "I've a child to raise."

 _"Sir, I have to ask is your child safe?"_

"Yes. He's in school, boarding school now. He went this morning." Draco felt the tears at that, and shook his head, "I'm alone." He said quietly, through the thickness in his voice, "I'm absolutely alone."

 _"I'm here, for you. We'll always be here anytime you need to talk."_

"I should be stronger, I was raised to be stronger." Draco whispered into the phone, rocking to his back, "w-wh-what would you do?"

 _"I don't know, I'm divorced."_

"Why?"

The voice on the other end hesitated, it was audible the way he let out a quiet broken sigh, _"I was a terrible husband."_

"I shouldn't have asked," Draco responded immediately.

 _"It's okay, I just never said it out loud,"_ he chuckled quietly and then the silence was wrapping around Draco again.

"I should go, I'm sorry for wasting your time."

 _"You didn't, you haven't."_ The man answered, _"I want to make sure you are okay, and that you feel safe."_

"What are the odds I'll get you again, if I were to call back?"

 _"Slim,"_ the voice answered, _"we have multiple volunteers, the chances are slim."_

"Can I have a few more minutes?" Draco asked in response, cuddling his blanket again and shutting his eyes. "I wish Scorpius was here," Draco said quietly, "he always takes care of me, even when it isn't his job."

The other end was quiet for some time and Draco didn't say anything either it was just the absolute silence but somehow it was better than being alone until finally he heard a breath coming through the speaker, _"I'm sure you take care of him as well?"_

"Of course, he's my son. He's all I have left."

 _"I know what you mean,"_ they responded, _"my son is very important to me as well."_

"How old is he?"

 _"16."_

"Mine too." Draco whispered, "he's at Hogwarts, the boarding school, he won't be home until holiday."

 _"Yeah?"_ The receiver grew quiet again, _"it'll be here sooner than you think."_

"It's quiet in this old house," Draco answered, "and dark... Thank you for your time."

 _"Of course, if you ever do need to talk again sir, please call us."_

"I won't," Draco said and sat up, hanging up the phone without another word. _I wish I'd never called._

* * *

 **Harry looked acro** ss the coffee house where he had followed Draco Malfoy into, having spotted the man while he was out shopping. The blonde was sitting at a two-seater table with a paper coffee cup in hand and his legs crossed under the table, Harry didn't know what he was going to say so he continued staring even after his own untouched coffee had gone cold.

He wanted to say something, or offer something but he didn't know what to say. It wasn't like the two had been friends in school, of course, he only really knew him because of his name. Malfoy. It carried a lot of weight, almost as much as his own. He really only had started hearing it again recently of course his own son had made quick friends with Draco's son. Scorpius. It was an odd name, one you didn't hear often at all so when Harry had heard it two nights ago at three in the morning during his volunteer shift he knew immediately who the caller was.

The voice had sounded familiar and the more he talked about his recently widowed status and then, of course, his son, Harry knew. Practically the whole world knew about his recently widowed status, of course, the whole world knew the Malfoy's. It had been sudden, at least to the outside world, though the other night Malfoy had mentioned of course knowing she had been sick. I fell in love with her anyway... He had said to Harry, or the volunteer. If Harry had to put money down on the odds of him admitting that to anyone else (or at least someone he knew) he figured it'd be very small odds and he could walk away a rich man.

The man was seated at the table, and hadn't moved in almost two hours. Barely even a shift and suddenly as Harry studied him he wondered if that was something he and his wife did. Grab coffee and sit there, at that exact table while talking about their days or plans or future or son? And Harry found himself getting to his feet, he threw his cold coffee away and took a deep breath putting on his best smile as he approached.

"Malfoy?" He asked coming up next to him, he watched the blonde look up as he said his name and his expression went from vacant to a mask within a second, "hey, I thought that was you!"

Draco looked at him a moment longer, cleared his throat and got to his feet, "uh, hey, Potter right?"

"Yeah." Harry nodded and offered his hand, "Harry."

"Right, Harry Potter." Draco took his hand for a brief moment before nodding to the chair across from him, "uhm, feel free to join me."

"Thanks," Harry hesitated a moment before he sat down, "how are you doing?"

"Well," Draco answered, sitting straight as he answered, "been a long few weeks, but other than that fine."

Harry nodded, wetting his lips as he eyed the man, "I really should have reached out sooner." He started and watched as Draco started narrowing his eyes as if he was daring him to talk about his recently deceased wife, but Harry didn't plan to. He planned to steer clear of the topic, mostly because he didn't trust himself to not mention talking to him just two nights ago about it. "I think our sons are best friends." He said with a smile, leaning against the table.

"Is Albus your son?" Draco questioned, "he's a sweet boy, my son is very fond of him."

"I have only just learned Scorpius' name, of course, Albus just called him 'my friend' or 'Scorp'."

Draco gave a small smile, that fell off after a moment, "Albus has been spending nights at our house since their 2nd Year," he chuckled, "and I still hadn't realized he was your son."

Harry shrugged, "it wasn't like we knew each other in school, of course." Draco nodded in response, staying quiet, "so, he's been staying with you two then?" He attempted to brush over the topic of his wife as smoothly as he could, "Ginny mentioned he'd been spending most of the time with a friend."

"We love to have him," Draco smiled, a real one this time that hung around, "my wife and I think he is such a well behaved boy and he makes Scorpius very happy."

Harry watched Draco flinch the moment their eyes met again as if just realizing what he had said but he didn't dwell on it, "I wish he was half as good at home."

"All children are that way, I suppose." Draco shrugged and shifted in his chair, "I will admit I had wanted him to stay home this year, or at least until holiday break but Albus was rather insistent on the two going back to school. Saying it'd be good for Scorpius, smart kid you have, Potter."

Harry smiled softly, "yeah, he's not too bad most days. I remember loving school that much, though, Albus I think only likes it because of your son."

Draco tilted his head, and took a drink of his coffee, "well, us Malfoy's have always been leaders." He said it softly, like it was a joke, like he was laughing at himself and part of Harry wondered if he was. If he was laughing at what the man had called weakness just two nights ago on the phone. "I do need to get going, Potter," he added and pushed himself to his feet, reaching out his hand again once Harry stood.

Harry could feel the cool metal of his wedding ring as he took his hand, "sure."

"Albus mentioned you and his mother were divorced?" Draco said quietly, and when Harry met his look part of him was a little irritated that he would bring it up seeing as Harry went out of his way to avoid talking about him losing his own wife. "I was going to suggest, perhaps, you two would like to join us over holiday for a dinner? If you don't have plans?"

"Oh," Harry's voice was tight as he said it, but the older man didn't seem to notice.

"Scorpius has just recently lost his mother," he said and Harry noticed the way his hands shook before pushing them into the pockets of his long, black coat, "I know he would appreciate having his friends close." Harry also noticed the way he said his mother rather than my wife.

"Ah," Harry nodded and offered a warm smile, "I imagine Albus would like that very much, rather than spending Christmas day with just his boring old dad." He shrugged, "let me give you my number, Malfoy, we could have dinner or something sooner than Christmas. Catch up?"

Draco lifted an eyebrow and watched as Harry grabbed a napkin from the table and a pen from the pocket of his jacket, "o-okay."

"Good," Harry smiled and folded the napkin handing it to Draco, "so, call me and we can get a drink or something some time, never hurts to have friends."

Draco put the napkin in his coat pocket, his eyes falling on Harry for a brief moment and swallowed the lump in his throat. thinking the word friends over as he watched the man in front of him before putting the pen back in his pocket, "thank you... Harry," he added and nodded, "I'll give you a call." Harry smiled and waved before Draco turned and left.

* * *

 **Draco ha** d called Harry, it was late. Almost three in the morning and the moment the phone was answered it was to the sound of sheets ruffling and a sleepy, gruff voice saying, "Albus?"

Draco felt terrible, he felt completely terrible. Great he thinks his son is in trouble. Draco frowned to himself and cleared his throat, "uh, no, Potter, it's just me Draco Malfoy."

"Oh," the sleep in his voice was still thick and Draco imagined the man sitting up before another throat clear followed, "what's up?"

"It's late, I know," Draco was saying, "like, really late, too late." He frowned to himself, "I haven't been to bed yet, I didn't think of the tim-."

Harry cut him off, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just, Jesus this is stupid." Draco muttered and pushed a hand through his hair, "I know it's three in the morning but there is this 24/7 coffee place over on Le'Ville Street and didn't know if you'd want to get a coffee with me?"

"Sure," Harry said immediately and Draco had the thought that this was a man that was always willing do things for other people, even at three in the morning with someone that wasn't really a friend. "Yeah, I'll meet you over there I live fairly close."

"O-oh." Draco answered, "sure, yeah, I'll see you in a bit." Draco hesitated, the other line fairly quiet and then he hung up. Something about that voice felt familiar to him and he couldn't help but think he had heard it once before, late at night, but he didn't have time to think about it too long as he didn't want to be late. It was his idea after all and he wasn't sure how close was fairly close.

Draco sat his landline down and quickly adjusted his white button up, making sure it was tucked in before pulling his hair back in a loose pony tail not bothering with the few strands that encased his face as he grabbed his long, black coat and slipped it on with a loose scarf and headed out. He got to the coffee shop before Harry - he was happy to find, and took a seat towards the back ordering a hot drink and waiting. Harry arrived less than ten minutes later, he looked much more awake than he had sounded on the phone Draco thought as the man offered a smile and wave, and joined him.

"So, you're a coffee drinker?" Harry said by-way of greeting with a wide smile.

Draco noticed his hair looked wet, but he couldn't figure out if it was just dark hair rather than wet, "yeah, I like coffee. Do you? I should have asked."

"No, no, it's fine, just not typically at 3 in the morning," and as he said it he glanced at his watch, "couldn't sleep?"

"I live in a quiet, dark house," Draco answered softly, "sometimes the silence is worse than noise."

"Oh," Harry had a brief flashback to their conversation and found himself replaying the end of it in his mind. _It's quiet in this old house, and dark..._ "I have a small flat, I don't have those problems."

Draco nodded, "well, most of the time it doesn't bother me - just every now and then."

Harry glanced up at the other man quietly, and crossed his arms on the table leaning against it slightly, "why?"

Draco was shocked by the question and it showed on his face the moment their eyes locked, "I don't know, it's just too quiet lately." He glanced down at his coffee and took a long, hot drink.

Harry was watching him closely, his teeth tugging at his bottom lip in worry, "well, Scorpius will be home soon." He said softly, "sooner than you think."

Draco eyed him as he said it, he could remember the conversation on the phone and after he and Harry talked that morning he found himself thinking back to it. Surely that isn't... possible? Draco thought, swallowing roughly, "your house doesn't get quiet without Albus?"

"Sometimes, he stays with me more often than his mother." Harry shrugged, "I was a terrible husband, but an excellent father." He added with a quiet, awkward, laugh.

Draco faltered, his eyes tight as he looked at Harry, it was him! He thought to himself, and wet his dry lips and took a long drink before turning away, "well." Draco felt embarrassed now, he felt humiliated. He had fallen into a trap. The only reason this man had made an appearance in his life was because he had released too much information about his personal life to a stranger over the phone. Except it hadn't turned out to be a stranger. It turned out to be someone he knew, his son's best friend's (and possibly boyfriend's) father. Why did I think it was good idea? Draco thought in anger, his fingers tightening around the mug in his hand.

Harry was quiet, relaxing tiredly into his seat, saying nothing as the realization washed over Draco completely unaware the blonde was crushing any future plans see the man. He was embarrassed, exposed and felt pitied. If there was one thing Draco Malfoy hated feeling, that was pitied; especially by someone like Harry Potter. Some no-name, good for nothing shit.

"So any crazy plans for the day, since you haven't slept?" Harry asked after a moment of the quiet.

"Uh," Draco snapped out of his reprieve, shaking his head, "n-no. You, since I woke you up?" Draco couldn't figure out why he hadn't brought up Astoria. Why he hadn't said anything. Maybe he'd be less mad if he had, or did. Because then it'd be out in the open, handled. Maybe he doesn't realize it's me...? He asked himself but then scoffed, how many people Name their son Scorpius?

"I have a dinner party later, with friends. You might remember the people I hung around school? Their daughter is in the same year as our sons actually."

"Oh?" Draco tried to remember, "the red head and the know it all?"

Harry laughed, "yeah, that's them."

"She's our sons age?"

"Mmhm! Rose Granger-Weasley."

How pretentious. Draco thought to himself but suddenly had the memory of Scorpius talking about the girl, while Albus complained she was annoying. "She's Albus' cousin?"

"Yeah, Ron and Ginny are brother and sister." Suddenly Draco was having more memories of school he'd rather forget. He'd rather not have, "anyway, dinner party."

"How are those? Does Ginny go?"

"She didn't go to the last one." Harry frowned down at the table, and ran a hand over his face as if he'd rather not talk about it but Draco was past caring what the man would and would not like to talk about. He violated Draco's trust, he approached him out of pity and Draco Malfoy was humiliated.

"Weren't you and Weasley best friends? Has the divorce made that difficult?"

Harry looked up, studying him a moment. _He's not an idiot. I know he knows this makes me uncomfortable why is he bringing it up?_ "Well, sometimes. Hey I'm gonna get a drink, I'll be back." Harry hurried to his feet and practically bolted from the table, leaving the chair half pulled out and approached the 4 am barista.

Draco followed him with his eyes, perhaps feeling a little bad, _I'm just going to tell him I know._ He said to himself, taking another drink and saw Harry already approaching him again. He was carrying two cinnamon rolls on a coffee shop plate and sat them on the table before retaking his seat.

"I know it was you." Draco said before Harry could sit down and the man froze, looking at Draco with wide eyes and his mouth popped open. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry looked back at him, and sat himself in the chair, "u-uh, well.." he cleared his throat and scooted himself closer to the table, "I just didn't want you thinking I was pitying you. I know that's what I would have thought."

 _Yeah jackas- wait what?!_ Draco stared at him, blinking quickly a few times before asking, "what?" Harry shrugged heavily, taking a drink of the coffee with a small and barely noticeable grimace. _Why didn't he just tell me doesn't like coffee?_ Draco added in his mind, he's such a people pleaser. "I would have liked to know, is all, then."

"Then?"

"Then thinking it was pity that drove you to show up at 3 in the morning for coffee, which you clearly don't like, or even that talked to me last week."

Harry nodded with a slow frown, "I should have told you," he agreed, "I'm sorry. But that's not why I'm here at 3 in the morning drinking a drink I don't like."

"Why are you here drinking a drink you don't like?"

Their eyes met as Draco asked and he thought he saw a slight blush flood Harry's cheeks but it passed just as quick and the brunette shrugged, leaning back while he picked at the sweet roll, "just lonely, I suppose, same reason you called me."

"I..." Draco nodded falling quiet and letting his sentence hang between them before taking another drink, trying to ignore the silence that came over them. It carried on long enough for Harry to take another drink and grimace again before Draco reached out and jerked the coffee away, "honestly, Potter." He said with a hard look at the man across from him as if he was scolding him, "next time we'll go someplace that doesn't sell coffee."

Harry chuckled and rolled his eyes, leaning back against the table, "why did you call me, Malfoy?"

"Lonely."

"Yeah but I mean, me rather than... anyone else? Friends or family?"

Draco studied him a moment, before he shut his eyes and took a slow breath, "sometimes you remind me of her." He said it so quietly it was barely noticeable he even talked at all but Harry heard him.

Harry heard him clearly. As if he had screamed it at him, he watched the man across from him finally open his eyes, looking down at his hot mug and turning it around in a small circle on the table while his confession seeped into Harry's every pore.

"I showed up because I think you're cute." Harry responded finally, his eyes dark as they met Draco's. The man across from him quirked an eyebrow at the confession, "so, here I am."

Maybe Potter's not as selfless as I thought. Draco stayed quiet and took a slow, deep breath letting it out just as slowly, "what happened between you and Ginny?"

Harry frowned openly, "I don't want to talk about this."

"You heard me cry." Draco snapped under his breath, and Harry blinked in a startle, "then pretended it wasn't you."

"I slept with someone else. A friend of ours."

"A man?"

"Yes, a man," Harry answered, suddenly wishing he had the coffee again. Just anything for him to not have to make eye contact with Draco.

"Is that what you thought this was?"

Harry scoffed, rolling his eyes and turning in his seat slightly, "why are all you people the same with that bullshit question?"

" _You people_?"

"Yeah, _straight_ people. It's always that stupid question, 'do you like me?' Or, 'am I your type?'"

Draco smirked, "you told me you showed up tonight because you thought I was cute," Draco leaned forward and picked up the other cinnamon roll without invitation, "I just figured? I mean..?"

Harry's attitude was pushed by the wayside, and he sighed softly, "oh, well."

"Exactly. Why are _you_ people always like that?" Harry smirked again, rolling his eyes, "always thinking us straight people are trying to hit on _you_?"

"Okay, okay," Harry waved his hands, "I'm sorry."

Draco lifted a shoulder and glanced up at the sky growing lighter, "I'm still not tired."

"Of course not, you just drank a highly caffeinated drink."

"Mm, good point Potter."

Harry smiled, crossing his arms against his chest, "Draco, are you okay? In all honesty?" He asked taking the chance to ask, and watched Draco nod as he adjusted his coat.

"You know Potter, how about this," he said after a moment, "you don't talk about Astoria and I won't talk about Ginny."

"I could agree to that," Harry said suddenly, smiling softly. Something told him there was going to be more to that statement and as he studied Draco he imagined he was right. The man scanned his face, light grey eyes reflecting his own nerves as they swept over his face.

"And, you take me back to your place this morning?"

"Is this one of those, 'I just wanna try it out' things?" Harry asked, "I'm not really interested in sexually confused. Puts a bad taste in my mouth."

"No, it's not. It's a one-ni... we'll, morning stand." Draco answered slowly, "or something like that but most certainly not an 'I wanna try it out' thing. I imagine it'll be good."

"Is this you trying to feel something other than..." Harry trailed off realizing they just agreed not to talk about the past, "okay, I'll take you home."

Draco shifted, giving his chin a slight jerk as he picked up his coffee and finished it, "Potter, are you sure? You're striking me as one of those guys that don't do one night stands."

Harry smiled more to himself then Draco, "I've done this before Malfoy," he answered, "most of the time they call me again."

"Aren't you cheeky?"

"I'm just being honest." Harry's laugh was soft, "and warning you, only fair."

"What's it like," Draco asked as he started to get to his feet, "to carry that ego around with you? Get heavy?"

Harry got to his feet as well, realizing it was happening right then and there. They walked out of the coffee shop, when Draco asked just how close he did live to the place and Harry told him less than two blocks which took the two less than five minutes to walk the distance and then Harry was unlocking the door to his flat and holding it open for Draco.

Part of both of them were thinking of their sons and whether this would complicate things between themselves and their children. What if Draco did call him again? Or what if Harry was lying and was the one that got attached? What if, come holiday time and the two decided to go ahead with dinner it was weird? Or what if they hated each other after it was over?

There were too many possibilities floating in their minds to really go full force with the threat they both had poised in the coffee shop. Or so they had thought, that was until Harry turned the lock on his flat door and Draco pressed him into it. It wasn't rough but it was a dominating move, pushing Harry into the door of his own place.

Harry let out a slow breath and rocked back against Draco a moment, shutting his eyes. Draco pushed against him and Harry's chest hit the door with a soft 'thud' of a body against smooth wood.

"What's your usual role, Potter?"

Harry shrugged, "I can switch. You?" He laughed as he asked and felt Draco reach around in front of him, sliding his hand over his jeans and cupping him between his legs.

"I'd much prefer to fuck you," Draco hissed against his ear, "problem with that?"

"No," Harry practically moaned the word and felt Draco start to unbutton his jeans, sliding his hand down against his pelvis and under the fabric of his boxers, brushing his fingers across his length.

"Is this going to cause problems, Potter?"

"I think we're both adult enough to handle this."

Draco hummed against his neck, lips pursing to kiss the taut tanned skin, "good." He pulled his hand back and took half a step back, "so, lead the way."

"I was trying," Harry answered turning around, "before you pushed me against the door," he was close enough his heavy breath was hitting Draco's cheek and he didn't bother buttoning his jeans back up.

"Weren't even going to offer me a drink? Some host you are."

Harry grinned, and grabbed Draco's wrist pulling him the half step closer so he could brush his lips over Draco's. He watched the blonde tense and stopped himself, "what?"

"Nothing. It's fine." Draco answered and kissed Harry hard on the mouth, shoving a cool hand against his scalp and knitting his hands in his god awful mess of a hair, pushing him closer and holding him in place.

They weren't going to bother with a bedroom, the two realized, as Harry walked Draco to the couch and climbed on top of him. Draco still attached his lips, was now sliding his hand against his shirt and pushing his jean jacket off. He bit the bottom of Harry's lips, maybe a little too hard, but Harry didn't seem to mind when his moan filled Draco's mouth.

He was undressing the blonde just as much, pushing his own black coat off and dropping it over the back of the couch to the ground before he brushed his fingers down the front of Draco's white button up taking his time to expose the practically translucent skin that seemed to glow in the bright morning sunlight when it danced over his skin.

Harry pulled his lips back, to kiss Draco's neck and found the man was staring at him with wide, dark, grey eyes. "Malfoy?" Harry said softly suddenly wishing he hadn't looked at him while part of him wondered if this was one of those, 'I want to try it out' things. Harry should have known.

The blonde cleared his throat and looked up at Harry, he looked vulnerable and lost, "you're so much like her." He whispered it quietly, and swallowed the lump in his throat.

Harry felt like ice was running through his veins as he stared down at the man he was straddling.

"I shouldn't have said that." Draco added suddenly, shutting his eyes and shaking his head.

Harry frowned, "I should have been a better person." He said quietly and got off Draco's lap, "I shouldn't have pushed this."

"You didn't." Draco chuckled, "we both want this, I just didn't realize how much you..." he looked away again and grabbed at himself as if to say look, "we both obviously want this."

"I don't want to make you sad, Malfoy. I'd like to do the opposite of that."

Draco nodded, "I should leave, Potter."

"You..." Harry didn't want him to go, at all. He'd rather he stay even if all they did was talk. But then there it was again. There was that look. That look that told him there was more and Draco reached out for his hand. Two cool, pale fingers pulled Harry closer and he slid right back where he was. Sitting on Draco's lap, lips attached and eyes closed as they kissed.

Harry was fine with this, he could be a place holder. He didn't know the man very well at all, who cared. He got his rocks off and made someone happy. This was fine, at least that's what he told himself.

Draco bucked his hips up and turned the two around, pushing Harry into the couch cushion while laying over him. He nuzzled his cheek with his nose and ran his fingers over Harry's body, under his t-shirt and when he got himself down to Harry's hips he pushed the jeans down exposing the other before wrapping his hand around his length.

Harry groaned quietly arching his hips and Draco smirked down at him, "you're easy to please."

Harry's laugh was breathy and quiet, he laid his head back against the arm of the couch before reaching for Draco and pushing his unbuttoned shirt off of him now, then he lifted his leg slightly and Draco rubbed himself against Harry's thigh. Harry wanted more but he didn't want to push Draco, who was now stroking Harry slowly while kissing his chest and shoulder leaving bites against the tight skin.

"Do you have lube Potter?" Draco practically purred against Harry's neck, "do we have to get up and walk to the bedroom for that?"

"Well I don't leave it out on my coffee table." Harry answered gripping at Draco's side and letting their chests slide against each other.

"You stay here," Draco said with a quiet voice, "get naked and I'll go get it."

"First room on the left, bedside table." Harry answered as Draco climbed off of him and started to pull his t-shirt off, then kicked his legs out of jeans and shoes and socks joined the pile on the floor leaving Harry completely naked and exposed by the time Draco made it back carrying a bottle of lube.

"Got a few toys in there, Potter," Draco said sitting the item on the front table, smiling down at Harry from where he stood.

"Oh, yeah," he wrapped a large hand around Draco's thigh and moved it up letting his thumb brush the erection his slacks were barely concealing. "We can use some if you'd like?"

"Maybe next time," Draco answered, watching Harry closely as he finally freed his length from the confines of his slacks. Harry nodded deftly while undressing the man before him. He pressed his lips to his defined hip bone realizing almost every part of Draco's body was as well cut and sculpted as a statue. He was all defined muscle and sharp edges as Harry ran his fingers over his body. While Harry was more mass, he wasn't heavy but he wasn't completely fit either. He was well built and filled out, he had thick ropes of muscles mapped over his body and Draco was all sharp cuts and pale, dainty skin.

Harry wrapped his large hand over Draco's length and gave him a slow stroke as if he was testing the water to figure out just what he liked. Draco shivered slightly, lifting to the balls of his feet a moment, pushing his hands through Harry's messy, unruly hair, to have something to hold on to. Harry took that as a good sign and did it again. The same slow pace, feeling his length sliding between this fingers before pressing his lips to it in a small, light kiss.

"Don't," Draco whispered, "not right now." He shook his head and pushed Harry back to where he was sliding between his legs before he could say anything in protest, if there was any thought of protest Harry quickly lost it the moment he felt Draco touching him again. Draco grabbed at his legs and pushed them apart, grabbing the lube in his other hand and running a good size dollop over Harry's backside.

Draco took his time pushing his fingers against Harry's ass, in an attempt to stretch the man. He found him relaxed and Harry was shifting on the couch. He wanted to move around, he wanted to be on his knees but part of him wondered if maybe this was the way Draco wanted. Maybe Draco wanted this intimacy. Their eyes met again, Draco pushing his fingers inside of Harry's ass stretching the man before him, he was moving slowly as he filled his entrance. "C'mon Malfoy," Harry demanded, arching his back.

"You're impatient, Potter," Draco mused, grabbing himself with a slow stroke while he looked down at the man before him.

"I just don't like being teased," Harry grunted and reached for Draco, grabbing his left wrist and pulling him close, "so stop teasing me."

"You're no fun," Draco teased, his chest hitting Harry's and he slid against his skin, pressing his lips to Harry's neck. He arched his lean hips and pressed into Harry, brushing the head of his length over Harry's entrance. "This is what you want?"

"Fuck, yes," Harry groaned out, and wrapped a thick muscled leg around Draco's. The blonde nuzzled into his neck and with a quick thrust he filled him. Harry gasped, not quiet expecting it to be so sudden but he had asked for it after all. Draco nipped the tight skin against his shoulder and gave Harry a hard suck as he slid into him, "ahhh," he gasped, jerking his head away.

"Don't like that," Draco murmured, moving slowly as he looked down at Harry, who was wrapped around him and pulling him in. Harry didn't answer he just took his lips in a kiss, reaching between their bodies to touch himself. Harry wanted more but he didn't know how to say it, how to express it. He had been with plenty of men after Ginny left, admittedly he had filled most nights he wasn't volunteering at the grief center with a man, a one-night stand, a person he picked up that always called back.

Those type of people filled his nights and Harry was fine with that. But, today, as Draco filled him, and fucked him into his couch, with his legs opened and wrapped around the man and those wet teeth marks on his neck still stinging part of him had never felt more complete then he did right then. He had felt empty ever since it all happened a few years ago, but right then he felt complete.

Draco was gripping at him roughly, his nails biting into Harry's arms as he grabbed him and used his own body as leverage to push in and out. Harry reached up using his right hand he pulled Draco into his kiss, opening his mouth and exploring the other with his tongue. He tasted like coffee and Harry almost grimaced and probably would have if he hadn't also found it rather erotic. Draco kissed him back, his light blonde hair falling down against Harry's face, brushing his cheek and shoulders as they moved. That was until Harry's strong hand caressed his back and held the man close, nuzzling his cheek.

"Potter," Draco breathed against his lips, his eyes closed as he whispered it.

"Shh," Harry answered, shaking his head, his eyes closed as well. He didn't want to hear what he was feeling, he didn't want it at all. Instead he continued stroking himself, his knuckles brushing over Draco's midsection rubbing his thin stomach with his knuckles. Draco fell quiet, he didn't look either, he just felt. He was scared to look at Harry, he was terrified to look at the man and see Astoria instead. He was terrified he'd look down and she'd be staring up at him.

Harry's hand in his hair, tugging at his lose strands. Harry's legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in closer, his lips hovering over his own as the two were taken to another level. He couldn't help but picture her.

Draco wanted it to stop, he was done, it was too much but he couldn't. Something was bringing him in and he couldn't pull himself away. Something about Harry, the way he smelled and tasted and holy fuck, felt. Draco could hardly get enough, his hands were grabbing at Harry everywhere he could touch and he felt the heat coming off his body as if it was keeping him together.

"Draco," Harry whispered this time, his head thrown back against the arm of the couch. More, he thought, he just wanted more and there wasn't more to give. He was burning up, his whole body was on fire with the feeling of Draco grabbing at him, kissing him. Then he was cumming, with a thrust of his hips practically pulling Draco from his ass as he jerked against the man above him his cum spraying out against their chest and bodies. "Fuck," he whispered heavily, dropping his hand. Draco hooked his left arm under Harry's right leg and held it up, before pushing back in.

"I'm so close, Potter," he whispered, finally looking at him. It was still Harry, Harry with his heavy breath and hot hand pulling on his hair.

"Fuck," he breathed out giving him a kiss, and nuzzle, "go ahead."

Draco did, filling him with each deep stroke over and over followed by a hard gasping grunt that he breathed out into Harry's mouth before kissing him roughly and laying over him. Harry gave a sigh, his leg falling from Draco's grasp and the other from his waist. Potter brushed his hair back, finally stopping the painful tugging and cuddled the man on his chest close. It was unspoken between the both of them what exactly just happened, but they knew.

Draco burrowed his face against Harry's neck and shut his eyes, taking slow and steady breaths and Harry laid quiet just holding him, neither wanted to say anything. Neither wanted to hear anything. They were both wrong, Harry couldn't do this. Not this time, it meant more than he thought it would and Draco? It wasn't something either could bounce back from. This was going to be problematic. He knew it the moment they looked at each other, the moment Draco gave Harry that look. That look that said, there was more.

* * *

 **They next time th** ey saw each other wasn't until holiday break. Harry hadn't called, even though he had caller ID and had Draco's number and Draco hadn't called him either, even though he still had trouble sleeping. It hadn't happened. They never saw each other around the town, granted they hadn't really before or if they had it at least went unnoticed but now it never happened.

And, neither would know that it was because Harry stopped going to his normal shops and ended up going almost two towns over to avoid it while Draco completely changed his routine all together. Neither went back to that coffee shop on Le'Ville Street, and neither even approached the grief center. Harry quit volunteering and Draco never called again.

They probably wouldn't have seen each other over their son's holiday break either if Scorpius hadn't told Albus that his father had wrote (before the event, as Harry referred to it) that he had invited Albus and Harry over for holiday supper. Which Albus was beyond excited about it. So there they were, Harry holding a Christmas plant and Albus with two gifts on his side as they stood at the door knocking.

"Albus!" Scorpius pulled the door open excitedly and greeted the younger boy, pulling him into a hug.

"Hey Scorp!" Albus smiled and walked into the warmth of the house, Harry followed, "this is my father, Harry."

"Yeah," Scorpius offered his hand which Harry shook, "wotcher Harry?"

"Scorpius," Draco's voice drawled from the back of the room and the three looked up seeing Draco giving his son a hard look and a cocked brow.

"U-uh, Mr. Potter," Scorpius corrected himself, dropping his hand and blushing slightly.

Maybe it was out of spite to the man that Harry shrugged, "that's okay, Scorpius. I tend to respond to Harry more than Potter anyway." He smiled lightly, watching Albus give Draco a one-armed hug and muttering a hello.

"We're glad you two could make it," Draco said as he patted down Albus' hair, "Scorpius has been off the walls."

"I have not!" The younger blonde, who looked almost exactly like this father, groaned and blushed again. Vaguely Harry wondered if that was a trait from Astoria. He seemed shyer than Draco, but of course Harry knew Draco wasn't all stones and cement, he had firsthand experience with his emotion granted he still wasn't very shy.

"Well, I'm starved," Albus said after a moment, and held up the presents, "and I brought gifts, did you cook Draco?"

"Did I?" The man grinned down at the boy, and Harry thought it was odd he was so insistent on Scorpius calling him Mr. Potter while Albus called him Draco? "Of course I did, Albus, go set the presents in the other room and wash your hands." He said in a fatherly tone, "Scorpius, you too."

"Alright, Dad."

Harry watched them walking away and looked at Draco, "uh, hey."

"How was the trip over?"

"Fine," Harry followed him, putting the plant on the table next to the door, "is there anything I can do to help?"

"No," Draco shook his head, pausing, "oh, well, open the wine?"

"Sure," Harry took his time to do just that. Focusing on the bottle and unscrewing the cork, while Draco pulled something from the oven, "do you cook all the time?"

"You mean out of Astoria and myself?" Harry nodded, though the other wasn't looking but he didn't want to say it. "Yeah, pretty much. I always did." Draco glanced over, "she was sick a lot so if she ate it was generally soup. Not too often did she have a full meal or at least what I would call a full meal. It was my job to take care of her and my son."

"Oh," Harry met his eyes, frowning slightly when they did, "I should have called."

Draco lifted a shoulder, "should you have, though?"

"I think I should have."

"But, you didn't."

"Well..."

They heard the boys in the other room, the dining room, and they both fell quiet when they peeked in. "Need help, Draco?" Albus asked, and Harry noticed he and Scorpius were so close their arms were touching and then Scorpius snaked an arm around his shoulders and rested his cheek against him.

"No, Potter and I have this handled." He answered, smiling at the two, "Scorpius told me you and him plan on studying medicine?"

"Ah, Scorp is amazing at Chemistry. I'm shit at it."

"Language," Harry said immediately, giving his son a hard look and a head shake.

Who rolled his eyes in response, "fine, I'm terrible at it."

"You're not!" Scorpius fussed suddenly, "you just need encouragement, don't I offer you some?"

"Well," Albus shrugged, "you're far better than I am."

Draco smiled softly, shaking his head, "Albus I am sure you are plenty fine," he said quietly, "anyway, from what I remember you have quite the knack for literature? You don't have to study at the same finishing school as Scorpius, right Potter?"

"Of course not," Harry smiled, "you can do whatever you want, Al." He watched his son nod and then Scorpius smiled widely at him. "And you don't have to decide right yet, either, you have a whole other year."

"Yeah?" Albus said suddenly, his smile growing, "nothing to stress about, maybe I'll become a prodigy overnight."

"I doubt that," Scorpius said softly, still holding the boy next to him, "but I can double my lessons!"

Albus smirked at the boy, "maybe it'd help if we actually studied..." Scoprius blushed and dropped his arms, giving the other man a wide-eyed look.

Both parents shared a look as well, Draco speaking up this time, "what does that mean, boys?" He asked, holding the hot plate in his hand, "dinner is ready." He added while leading the two to the other room.

"We just do a lot more, uh..." Albus shrugged into his seat, then looked at Scorpius, "we might as well tell them."

Scorpius was a ball of nerves as his eyes darted from Harry to Draco and then to Albus again. "Tell us what?" Harry asked from his seat, next to Draco across from the boys.

"I don't want to fight," Scorpius said softly, "it's Christmas."

"Well," Draco started, "is it illegal?"

"No," Albus was laughing now, and he sat up straight, "Scorpius and I decided we wanted to date."

Harry and Draco didn't look at each other, no matter the amount they wanted to, instead they kept their eyes straight ahead and Harry nodded, "I figured."

"Yeah," Draco smiled at the two, and gave his own son a rather soft look, "you should have told me, Scorpius, but I am happy for you two."

Albus grinned, "I told you they wouldn't care!" He said absolutely ecstatic and gave the blushing blonde boy next to him a small kiss, "my father's gay." He said quietly, "right, Dad?"

"Yep," Harry cleared his throat and let out a soft breath, "so, go-good for you two."

"Thanks!" Albus reached for something on the table, making his plate while Draco was getting his own as well, leaving Scorpius and Harry in silence as neither grabbed for food that was until Draco nudged Harry and offered him a plate.

"Thank you, Malfoy," he said quietly, coming out of his shock. Their eyes met and they both shared a long look, one that seemed to confirm all of Harry's thoughts. A look that really made the two of them quiet. A look that was full of emotion and emptiness when not even three months ago they had finally felt the completeness they were both searching for in each other. Draco was lost, and even more so now. How could he pursue something with Harry Potter while his own son was dating his son. How could that be a thing? How could he sit here next to the man, wanting nothing more than to yell and scream at him for not even calling? It was wrong, it was perverse, it was... It felt right, Harry and himself but it was something he could never have.

He was looking at Harry as if he were a replacement to Astoria. He knew that, he felt that but damn did he need something. He needed quite literally anything the man could offer to make the pain go away. The sleepless nights bearable. He just needed Harry and he didn't even understand why.

Harry Potter with his dark, soft hair and bright green eyes and the way he smelled so soft and comforting... Draco turned two wide, tired eyes to the man beside him and let out a quiet breath.

The look passed between the two slowly, Harry taking the dish from Draco and their fingers brushed. Then Draco turned away, and Harry looked down at his empty plate holding the dish in his hand. Draco sighed softly, shutting his eyes for just a moment to collect himself and the only thought he had was the same he thought all those months ago during a shot of weakness.

 _I wish I'd never called._


End file.
